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(740):
(sent)-baby i love you so much. (recvd)- im pregnant (sent)- its over..... (sent)- and i fucked your sister
(312):
Wanna come over? (312): Forget it. I just saw what time it was. I have to be up at 5am. (773): I can be there in 15 (312): If you can bust in 5 min you can come over (773): Hell yeah I can... on my way...
(562):
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
(516):
Okay so my bf just came home and handed me a box of scented tampons. I'm going to assume this as a nice way to say it smells like fish and sour cream down there.
(413):
im adjusting really well to waking up for school again. i guess i got used to having to wake up at the crack of dawn to work while hungover, this shits a breeze.
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(707):
when i saw Kayden Kross on her "people who inspire me list" i figured i had struck gold.
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(707):
totally just popped a squat in the towermart parking lot.
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(707)
(707):
You know you're becoming comfortable with being single when you have a potential guy to hook up with, but you have a couple glasses of wine, masturbate at 8 o'clock, and think to yourself, "Well done, now I don't need to go out tonight."
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(707):
How does it feel to b an alcoholic ha (1-707): you can call me an alcoholic i call it a damn good time .
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(707)
(707):
I keep farting. It's why I can't sleep. They keep getting louder and funnier. And it's making me laugh myself awake..
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(707)
(707):
(s)hey hows the party? (r) I like girls =D (s) Very fun, be right there
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(707):
He said he walked in on his sister getting it doggystyle by a man in a bunny costume, I still can't stop laughing
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(707)
(707):
I shit my pants 4 fun
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(707):
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
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(707)
(707):
glorious.
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(707):
I really want to fuck Taylor Swift for 2 reasons. 1. She's hot. and 2. she'd write a song about me afterwards.
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(707)
(707):
Didnt Think when he said "Mind Fuck" he actually meant MIND FUCK
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(707):
(601)I told you "drug Olympics" would be a bad idea. (605) idk herpes is just a temporary side effect =)
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(707):
(606)How Did you get Accepted?!? you cant even spell College! (601)Spellcheck motherfucka!
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