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(416):
he did nothing but go down on me for like 45 minutes, and when he finally looked up at me he asked if there was like an AA/self-support group for my pussy cause it was so damn addicting.
(763):
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
(0627):
I love how when you orgasm you sound like chewbacca making a mating call. :]
(304):
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
(352):
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
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(701):
My father in law just straight up GROPED my ass. I'm not drunk enough for this. Please come get me.
Great Night
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4
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Bad Night
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12
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(0)
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(701)
(701):
I keep meowing on people on fb chat
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4
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1
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(0)
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(701)
(701):
Shes a turtle bird. A ligit turtle bird. I feel like she pecks at Evans dick like it's afuckkin twig
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0
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2
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(0)
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(701)
(701):
Too much work. I just wont look at the midget anymore
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8
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0
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(0)
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(701)
(701):
Yeah, we looked for him in the woods for 25 minutes. Turns out, he was passed out on the cooler the whole time.
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9
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1
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Comment
(0)
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(701)
(701):
? My grandma is getting a keg for this party
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15
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0
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(0)
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(701)
(701):
why does sleeping on the bathroom floor pwn when drunk? its seriously comfortable!
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11
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(0)
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(701)
(701):
is it a bad sign when the guy at the liquor store knows your name and you don't know him from anywhere but the liquor store?
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13
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2
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(0)
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(701)
(701):
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
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43
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63
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(3)
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(701)
(701):
IDK why I read MDT anymore...they are all fake ass bullshit made up by kids who've never been laid
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24
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3
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(3)
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(701)
(701):
"If Jesus was alive right now, he would NOT have been a virgin!!"
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5
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2
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(0)
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(701)
(701):
(rec) dude sober up. (sent) DONT CUSS LIKE THAT!!
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89
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5
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(1)
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(701)
(701):
The guy taking my mugshot said I could quit being a dick anytime...then i proceeded to sit in my cell and yell at the police officer telling he conducted the breathalyzer wrong...I puked all over the lobby too...got those fuckers good.
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10
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(701)
(701):
(701): come drink, Jayde's cooking thanksgiving. (1-701): let me kick this random blonde out of my apartment first.
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19
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(0)
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(701)
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