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(403):
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
(248):
(sent) wanna see your twat. (rcv'd) you did - the inside, i screamed and kicked. . . and then dad cut the umbilical cord. and get home. NOW.
(773):
just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
(979):
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
(806):
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
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(662):
Good bye virginity
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19
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2
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(0)
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(662)
(662):
Damn alcohol got me naked and in someone else's pool again. Damn it
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282
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21
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(662)
(662):
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
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208
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24
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(662)
(662):
i have a very serious question and if its not answers correctly somone could get hurt!!! where is my bottle of vodka??
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28
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1
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(0)
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(662)
(662):
Last night I caught my best friend having sex with her boyfriend....on the hood of my car.
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4
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3
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(0)
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(662)
(662):
I'm sorry really want to hard the fridge ?
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0
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4
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(0)
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(662)
(662):
We headed to the bathroom we got to the door then you pass out like went limp and everything.. so We just took you to the bar owners couch you slept and we continued to dance.. win.. win
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10
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(0)
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(662)
(662):
Gareet said your misding the greatest drunk gareetand us eveRrr:b we wish YOU werte here!!!! He has beeNN takning shots fofr 3 hours!! i Ove youy!!!!!!!!!! (662): I miss you. (662) love you.
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(662)
(662):
We took away your vodka and gave you a coke and you told everybody in the bar that it was the best coke you ever had then tried to force them to drink it...
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14
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2
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(662)
(662):
I forgot my jacket... oh well I will just get drunk!!
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8
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7
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(0)
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(662)
(662):
(662): you okay? (662-1): yeah, why? (662):My voice mail indicates you didn't know who you were last night (662-1): haha what??
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(662)
(662):
dude, weed coke codeine anti-depressants.. how the fuck do you think i am feeling? (r) pretty damn good right about now (s) .... yes, but that is beside the point
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(662)
(662):
Dude i swear I was like sitting on my couch and I thought it was eating me! I was scared man! It was like slowly eating me ass first!
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11
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(662)
(662):
(s)well i am disappointed in young americans (r)why (s)bc my sister just text me and said that she is goin to the hospital (r)omg what happened (s)she got her dildo stuck in her ass....again
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11
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(1)
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