(661): I spontaneously got laid in one of those sheds for sale outside of Lowes tonight.

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(661): i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean

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(661): Dude my shit smells like white rhino

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(661): Can we talk about the bruise I just found on my ass...yeah think I got five stared one too many times

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(661): Dude, you know you did an amazing job on getting drunk on St. Patty's day when your shit is green from drinkin green beer.

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(661): Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.

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(661): I hate when girls think there is a double standard for woman being called "sluts" but men being called "the man" for sleeping with multiple people...it's very simple, think of it this way...if a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a shitty lock. (1-661): ...you're brilliant.

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(661): So he pulled out, then yelled THIS IS FOR JOHN at the top of his lungs then came on my tits (1-661): Haha lmfao who is John? (661): That's exactly what I wanna know

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(661): (sent)Dude, the semester starts tomorrow. Im goin to drink myself to sleep. (sent 2 hours before class starts)Dude... it didnt work. (rec) What are you going to do now? (sent)Go to school drunk... (rec) Well at least you're not hungover like I am.

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(661): Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.

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(661): I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.

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(661): If you can get a text published on MDT homepage with 130 'great nights' , I will show you the trick Me and amber invented called: two thumbs up the pussy pop. K? Till then fuck off(:

Great Night (508) Bad Night (22) Comment (6) More texts from (661)

(661): I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me

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(661): Ahh. So I'm eating 2 breakfasts in case I drink so I don't wind up peeing on zac's lawn

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Remember The Pics From Last Night?

Best Friends :)
Awesomeness!