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(360):
I decided to shave my pubic hair in the shape of a heart. After my little striptease, he gasped in admiration "Aaaw, Batman sign!"
(801):
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
(423):
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
(509):
I did the walk of shame in front of a Mexican lady and her 5-year-old son. She smiled, took one look at my hair, and gave me a look that said, "Who the hell did you just fuck?" Win? Fail?
(678):
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
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(650):
"Wanna have Threesome tonight? " "Can't I'm at work" ".... And well come to you" "I work at a baby store no" "Even better no one will mind"
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(650)
(650):
Just woke up in the hospital with an Iv in my arm, looked around twice and asked the closest nurse where my pants were. What did we do last night? and where are you? Rec: I'm in the lobby, be there in a min
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(650)
(650):
I understand that you arent comfortable with this, but i dont mind that you only have 1 leg
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(650)
(650):
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
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(650)
(650):
Whatever, anyone i have sex with i like to becky them haha.. its my way of showing my appreciation for the great sex.
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(650)
(650):
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
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(650)
(650):
i swear to god i just ate a whole bottle of hair gel and saw a white rabbit run across my bedroom floor.
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3
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(650)
(650):
sent: Last nite I was like King Kong and you were Jane lol rev: more like King Slong im still sore punk sent: lol my bad rev: you busy this weekend?
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(650)
(650):
Hahahaha! Fuck it man. I'm so high right now all I can even think/feel is tingly. Ooh tingly. Tastes tingly. Feels tingly. I have hella muffins too!
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(650)
(650):
You know its a good night when you dont know if you want to shower cuz you like the feeling of being a little dirty. Being slutty night #2=success (425) I deff know that feeling. And its not sluttieness, its passion.
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(650)
(650):
My sexual frustration right now is just too high for comfort Next quarter... Ima be a slut. its decided. I will blame cold weather and boredom
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86
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(650)
(650):
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
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(650)
(650):
hm.. thats a tough oneo.. if its not infested with stds, i think i'll do it.
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(650)
(650):
425: Good lol. Just move on and let things happen on their own. 650: Exactly. I just have to wait for cupid or Jose Cuervo to bring us back together again.
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(650)
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