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(302):
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
(212):
i want you now (916): you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
(503):
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick (541): the rest of him looks just as crooked
(209):
Y is Jim lying n the driveway holding a golf hole marker pole?
(508):
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
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(647):
(r) Where are you!? (s) DON'T YELL AT ME! I just got cum in my papercut and I am NOT HAPPY!
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(647)
(647):
Christine just won 5 against 1 flip cup....against 5 guys. We've crowned her Queen of EVERYTHING!
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26
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(647)
(647):
We did The Dragon. it was just pure lazieness. Like vertical spooning.
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1
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12
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(647)
(647):
You can ignore me all you want but you still owe me 45$ and an orgasm
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7
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3
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(0)
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(647)
(647):
fuck you...litterally
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(647)
(647):
but like I ACTUALLY don't understand what's wrong with partying in the day? personally I think it's just discriminating against the sun
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(647)
(647):
considering im sick, hungover, have a black eye and threw up several times last night I look pretty hot atm
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(647)
(647):
WELL I DID IT ANYWAYS BITCH! And I'm alive!...didn't go over well tho so no I will not be doing it again
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(647)
(647):
wtf is 'the clippery' and why do I like it on fb? Also I passed out in mcdicks this morning...
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(647)
(647):
Found bohemian jesus......but like legit. He's in a poncho and singing on the bus
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(647)
(647):
My goals for tomorrow are to get RLLY trashed, not throw up, not to maim myself or anyone else too badly, not hook up with any guy and NOT die. I'm gonna need all the help I can get
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(647)
(647):
I wish I could say this was the first time my vag has been bruised from dry sex....
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(647)
(647):
(s) He said we can't use the glow in the dark condoms cause he'd get distracted...can't say im surprised tho (r) does that mean your bubble wrap dress is also a bad idea?
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(647)
(647):
I have weird tear ducts so whenever I give a blow job I start to cry. It confuses the hell out of all my hook ups
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