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(902):
dude, i just had a 65 minute conversation on chat roulette with an 67 year old retired CFO from new york... thatttt high
(318):
He just put a smiley face on my status...... Hes def DTF girl!
(931):
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
(305):
We were out of doggie shampoo, so i used old spice swagger on buddy... He smells like a pimp. B-)
(812):
I just saw a midget walking a three legged dog.
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(632):
i was so drunk i tried to swim on the bathroom room after the toilet overflowed. I also paid someone 5$ to ash all the cigarettes i smoked
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(632):
btw, we are not using that purple condom. i'd feel like i was getting fucked by barney
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(632):
cant fall asleep.. cant decide how i wanna eat my waffles in the morning
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(632):
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
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