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(614):
I woke up lastnight with one earring, my jacket was on inside out, somebody elses shirt on and my underwear were on sideways. It must have been a GOOD night!!
(828):
He colored his face with a blue sharpie and ran out the door screaming that he was going to find pandora
(512):
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
(504):
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
(949):
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
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(619):
threesome turned into a four hour orgy two guys four chicks i love cali.....got to go!!!!!!!!!!!!
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(619)
(619):
Be still, my beating vagina.
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248
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49
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(14)
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(619)
(619):
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
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257
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59
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(619)
(619):
How the fuck did I get jeans in my passenger seat?! lol. (214) Shit there's a oair of shoes with it lol
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(619)
(619):
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
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57
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141
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(619)
(619):
You left choke marks on my neck from the other day (619-2): Oops! Sorry! I'll be more gentle next time :] (619): It's all good, it's all in the practice. (619-2): ... I need to practice proper choking?... I didn't know there was an art to it...
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(619)
(619):
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
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10
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(619)
(619):
(rcvd) "yo! a mango just fell on my head, it hurt like hell so i yelled at it and then i ate it! where you at bitch?" (sent) "here, throwing mangos at you"
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(619)
(619):
She's going to hate herself in the morning, but atleast she's having fun right now!
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11
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(619)
(619):
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
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(619)
(619):
If black dick is supposedly bigger than white dick...then why is the word cock in caucasian....
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(619)
(619):
GTF over here......I need you inside me NOW
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22
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(619)
(619):
I like getting bumped in the butt. Gay sex is great sex!!
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9
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9
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(619)
(619):
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
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156
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(619)
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