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(917):
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
(919):
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
(845):
I realized that if I brush my bangs backwards after not washing my hair for a few days, my hair looks exactly like Robert Pattinson’s. The fact that I’m a 18-year-old girl makes it all the more hilarious.
(whome?):
Last night "RAWR means I love you in dinosaur haha!" MDT
(352):
when she said she would eat my dick she ment it....im in the hospital now
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(613):
613-888-8426 any girls have pics for this guy on his birthday?!
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(613):
Omg I just ran through rez with no pants on.
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(613):
-may have fired the gun a few to many times last night, -- there's no such thing - i was just trying to keep that rodeo in place.
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(613)
(613):
Breaker breaker. Paging Sargent hotstuff. ..let's be criminals next Halloween hahaha the sheriff thing just didn't work out. Over and out.
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(613)
(613):
(S): I'm at work, hungover. I'm drinking my morning tea from the same mug I had my vodka in last night. Tea tastes like watermelon now. Bonus! (R): Lol classy (S) Pinkies up!
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(613)
(613):
"Honestly you're the best and I'm sorry I always try to show you my big dick"
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(613):
can i come over? (1613): arent you with your girlfriend (613) yeah, shes sleeping
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(613)
(613):
can i come over? (1613): aren
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(613):
I got 6 free mcdonalds pies for answering Boston trivia haha win
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(613):
so yesterday was the first time we were together that we didn't have sex... im worried about our relationship. or maybe you're just in a gay phase?
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(613)
(613):
Went to the gym today with a 26er of vodka....I was pretty pissed off and complained that my bottle wouldnt fit in the cup holders....
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(613)
(613):
getting high fived after sex is like being charlie sheen.. PURE AWESOME
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(613)
(613):
It hurts when I shit... more anal is probably a good idea.
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(613)
(613):
woke up to his 'son' driving cars up my naked body, luckily had just enough time to rip of my shirt before not only puking all over his bed but almost his child... try explaining that to a 4 year old
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