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(601):
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
(513):
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
(918):
If you don't tell this girl she looks like Christie Alley after she called you a Chris Angel fag edition, you have no balls and we will never be friends.
(850):
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
(443):
i would one night stand the shit outta him
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(608):
Idk what yo says my pants are off and my potato good
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(608)
(608):
my bbm pin is 288dd1cb girls only im hot nd looking for fun
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0
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(608)
(608):
The manager was about to kick us out, but my buddy brought him back a beer from the bar. Mug and all.
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7
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(608)
(608):
Is it bad idiot woke up this morning next to my boyfriend, with two lace thongs in my hands, one thong in my mouth, my mouth tastes like pussy, there is a dildo on the floor, my boyfriend has a bottle of lube in one hand and my boob in the other, and there is a post it note one my chest that says "you two are awesome! Xoxo"... Hell yes! #WINNING
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(608)
(608):
Exactly. It follows and equation. Age of 14 years or older+new years x the attractiveness of the person in question divided by the sum total of the amount of other young, attractive friends=feeling like shit on january 1st of every year for the rest of our lives. It's simple mathematics. Regardless of the situation.
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(608)
(608):
oh yeah. i trashed his bathroom. puked like a mofo. it was intense. right on his rug. and the floor. i woke up in a pink snuggie
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(608)
(608):
me- "Dude come get me!" friend- "Where are you?" me- "I am under a sign with my pants off and I don't know what the fuck happened!"
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(608)
(608):
WHERE ARE YOU?! I need my twat tickled NOW!
Great Night
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17
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2
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(1)
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(608)
(608):
Sent: If my dick were a transformer it would be named Cocktomus Prime. Rec'd: I'd let you transform in me.
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18
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(608)
(608):
Yup u had sex with that water buffalo that's shoveling taco bell in her mouth
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9
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17
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(608)
(608):
You told the McDonald's lady you wanted a blow job. And then you threw up in my backseat while we waited in the drive thru for our 30 chicken Mcnuggets that were just for Haney.
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10
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(608)
(608):
I don't feel like wearing pants to sleep, but the only time I sleep pantsless is when I'm with you :( this is a bad deal. I'm sad and torn at what to do...
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4
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(608)
(608):
Dude, are you guys still alive?
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15
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3
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(608)
(608):
I don't know what it is about Scott toilet paper, I just don't feel comfortable with wiping my ass with a brand that resembles the name of my fish..
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12
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(608)
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