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(301):
so the cops busted the party? (sent): yeah but after they saw 150 empty beer cans, a beer pong table, and 5 drunk girls... they left. (rec'd): Nobody got in trouble? (Sent): Not after Amber tongued Alicia.
(847):
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
(304):
(rcvd) theres a party at your ankles why dont you invite your pants down
(Anonymous):
Last night i received "Brittany, you are 19 years old. you need to stop drunk texting me every other night. I'm a cop. and I'm sure my lutenit doesn't wanna see texts that say KFJSHAFUfjdhfksSEXSEXdifhui*(syfHDSFUFSEXSEX in my phone if he ever gets a hold of it"... I don't even remember texting him. MDT
(904):
She has lumps of deodorant in her armpit, I think one fell in your drink.
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(603):
Articuno is the best pokemon everr
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6
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4
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(0)
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(603)
(603):
melissa and i joined a gang. our new names our m dogg and a money
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3
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Bad Night
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5
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(0)
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(603)
(603):
Cum 2 mama you sexi little panda horse
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9
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0
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(3)
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(603)
(603):
Phone secks or your peen is maggot food
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0
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7
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(0)
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(603)
(603):
I'm poopoo bcuz of you know who
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2
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1
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(0)
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(603)
(603):
The power's out. Time 2 cuddle
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5
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0
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(2)
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(603)
(603):
(s) If you keep staring at my boobs when your talking to me im gonna stare at youre dick..akward for you? (r) Nope not at all
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17
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0
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(0)
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(603)
(603):
i want to cum on your face.
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6
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4
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(0)
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(603)
(603):
Dude I was bartending my Uncles wedding and I got so drunk by the time my family decided to play Monopoly that I only remember making it rain on the table with 100's.
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16
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2
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(1)
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(603)
(603):
(603)he was still sleeping when he told me to "stroke it gently" and i said "who" and he screamed at me "you!"
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10
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3
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(0)
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(603)
(603):
its a good story getting arrested better getting arrested and not remember it then waking up in your boyfriends moms bed two days later.
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1
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Bad Night
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9
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(0)
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(603)
(603):
so my dad got pissed and cleaned my room... he found a full bowl, a handle of vodka, bottle of soco, some taqulia + mix, a bottle of percs + vics + trammys + marnies and my vibrator... he washed my corsette and said we never speak of this again.
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21
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4
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(0)
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(603)
(603):
i love when i look at pics from last night and see coworkers while at work on my night off...
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0
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3
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(1)
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(603)
(603):
Fell over twice and ran the dog into a parked car. I now know how people get DUI's on bikes.
Great Night
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3
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Bad Night
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3
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Comment
(0)
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(603)
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