(575): Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?

Great Night (171) Bad Night (33) Comment (1) More texts from (575)

(575): I should probably take into consideration that I am on probation for a DUI and abide by the rules set forth which include NO bars... Is there going to be a band?

Great Night (10) Bad Night (1) Comment (0) More texts from (575)

(575): I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me

Great Night (175) Bad Night (11) Comment (0) More texts from (575)

(575): I'm about to tell this girl she's my teenage dream......you have ten seconds to stop me.

Great Night (17) Bad Night (2) Comment (0) More texts from (575)

(575): He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.

Great Night (89) Bad Night (61) Comment (0) More texts from (575)

(575): why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?

Great Night (106) Bad Night (32) Comment (2) More texts from (575)

(575): I got woken up by her on top of me trying to fuck me...apparently my morning wood is very tempting

Great Night (17) Bad Night (2) Comment (0) More texts from (575)

(575): 20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"

Great Night (150) Bad Night (53) Comment (0) More texts from (575)

(575): Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?

Great Night (74) Bad Night (12) Comment (1) More texts from (575)

(575): As I'm putting my laundry in the machine, Guess what I found... a solo cup and a pong ball that I signed babe ruth

Great Night (60) Bad Night (5) Comment (0) More texts from (575)

(575): My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.

Great Night (123) Bad Night (5) Comment (2) More texts from (575)

(575): him* I wanna do dirty things to that girl me* like what? Him* cover her in syrup and spank her with a spatula.

Great Night (8) Bad Night (4) Comment (0) More texts from (575)

(575): (575 sent) dude come to this party that girl we met at dublins last week wants to bone you!!!! (575 rcvd) I'm currently taking a shit while eating a blueberry muffin ask her if she wants to party tomorrow. (575 sent) dude your a fucking dumbass your missing out on getting with a 10 (575 rcvd) this shit and this muffin is a 100 fuck 10s tonight. (575 sent).......wow

Great Night (2) Bad Night (15) Comment (0) More texts from (575)

(575): Does a cucumber or a banana work better as a dildo?

Great Night (1) Bad Night (13) Comment (5) More texts from (575)

Remember The Pics From Last Night?

Best Friends :)
Awesomeness!