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(440):
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
(713):
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
(405):
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
(440):
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
(248):
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
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(518):
I have a boner, what are you doing?
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3
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(518)
(518):
Totally just fucked him with his best friend's tshirt onn. Should I be proud of this?
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11
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4
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(518)
(518):
Crouxhing child hidden Asian!
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11
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(0)
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(518)
(518):
Are you from Adams family? Cuz your like uncle fester lol Hahaha
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1
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(518)
(518):
I got high and shit on the bike path today... so happy i had napkins in the glove compartment
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8
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(518)
(518):
Wtf yu go in thee othhher room come fuckkk us! Lol jjjjjjjkkkkkkkkkkk!!!! Not ;)
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7
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(518)
(518):
the way you eat oreos is unamerican
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(518)
(518):
dudew the cops came...officer manchesterrrr hotttt shit
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3
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(518)
(518):
Why is it when you are sober I am a bad idea but when you are drunk I am the best idea ever?
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12
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(518)
(518):
same way I know I'm walking talking breathing sexiness :)
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(518)
(518):
Rcvd: I thought the poconos were an island off of Hawaii. If you post that on Facebook I'll beat your ass!
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7
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(518)
(518):
So we're at Dennys and the lady already knew I wanted honey mustard.
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(518)
(518):
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
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97
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(518):
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
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