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(303):
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
(416):
I think I need an STD test...I'm pretty sure I had my drink stirred by a stripper's dick last night...ugh
(502):
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
(225):
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
(708):
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
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(512):
rec: why do you smack my ass everytime i leave? sent: because your mine bitch, now come back and make me a sammich
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(512)
(512):
(sent) what happened to you last night? (rec) your mom ,,, (sent) funny .... seriously though (rec) dead serious dude ... she does anal
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(512)
(512):
(sent) We should open a porn shop, we'll call it IHOP. International House of Penis. (reply) Arent you clever. Too bad there's already a resturant named IHOP. (sent) Thats the point. It'll look like a delicious breakfast establishment, but secretly it's porn.
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(512)
(512):
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
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(512)
(512):
Yes I did have a margarita with breakfast
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(512)
(512):
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
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(512)
(512):
(253) Hey how r u (512) Goin to Austin to pick my sister up from club exstacy (253) what? Lol (512) Yea she got stranded at a strip club, She hustling up on stage and already made 100, and chillin with the manager and strippers.
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(512)
(512):
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
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(512)
(512):
Sometimes I wish I were a man just so that when a girl is giving me a blowjob I can yell out "FINISH HIM" as I'm about to cum.
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(512)
(512):
So after we were done having sex she tells me "it feels like you drove a mini monster truck up inside me."
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(512)
(512):
I was banging a chick and she yelled out dont stop. I looked her in the eyes and prematurely ejaculated everywhere. I dont let bitches tell me what to do.
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(512)
(512):
Hey, just had ROUGH sex. One of the earrings you gave me pierced my vagina. It's okay though. It looks nice.
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(512)
(512):
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
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(512)
(512):
Found the Hippo yet????
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(512)
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