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(210):
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
(510):
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
(Anonymous):
Last night, "i just smacked a kid in the face with a bottle of Johnson's No More Tears" MDT
(616):
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
(269):
Dude. Strip poker with a magician. Awesome as hell. (630): ??? (269): He had all the girls at the table almost naked, guys almost fully clothed.
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(409):
I got .8===D And I sent... Oh yeah baby I got the pussy for your cock and balls! To my mom on mistake......
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(409):
If my boobs were fake they would be popped or leaking or deflated right now or whatever the Fuck they do.lmao..story time tomorrow!
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(409):
If my books were rack they would be popped or leaking or deflated right now whatever the Fuck they do.lmao..story time tomorrow!
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(409):
Rec: I'm sitting in bed, naked, listening to radiohead in the dark, eating strawberries. You? Sent: IT'S WEDNESDAY.
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(409):
Good thing my mom is to hungover to notice that im hung over too. XD
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(409):
Its cold but we got on our birthday parkas...its kinda like a birthday suit, cept for when its cold :)
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(409)
(409):
Sent: You told us you gave great head, and then gave us a detailed version of it...then you confessed that you made out with 3 guy out of the 5 at the party and gave head to one...Rec: What can i say? Sent: Classy
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(409):
The proper way to go into the new year is plastered.
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(409):
Was the girl I hooked up wit last night cute?..... The vodka said she was Megan Foxx
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(409)
(409):
We came downstairs to it completely dark, a map to a marijuana dispensary, and bam is missing in action. lol. shes been gone forever dude.
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(409):
His dick smells like donuts. All the time. Its like breakfast everytime i go down on him. Win?
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(409)
(409):
I just bonged a beer out of a snorkel!
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(409):
Where'd you get them rope sandles? Rec: Jesus.
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(409):
Is it to much to be happy for my brother since he got is DL? I mean now i never have to drive drunk again!
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