(407): so i put the pipe between my tits while promising nothing would happen. . .with in two seconds managed to stumble into the couch stumb my toe and trip but the pipe was safe ...till the dog came out and i bent over to pet it...well that my friend was the end of that pipe...epic fail..damn dogs

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(407): haha i'm not violent to my friends I swear me punching you on cinco was pure tequila

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(407): Twisted tea is rhe shit mayne:) (386): Haha i know (407): Annnnnnd 59 jello shots! (386): never had them (407): I did that's why there's not 60!

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(407): I Tysoned her vagina

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(407): (rec 1:37:22am:) found his face book (sent 1:3758:) oh good but yea thats the guy Im with (rec 1:38:10:) awww lol so this is your new maaaaaaaan (rec 1:38:19) omg is that his baby (sent 1:38: 32) what?

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(407): keep my company i'm waiting for his girlfriend to leave so i can fuck him again...

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(407): and now there are teeth marks on my dick.

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(407): I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that

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(407): I did it all for the nookie

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(407): I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.

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(407): Recieved....Dude let's finish up the beer and I'll buy everyone steak and shake. Sent.... I love you

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(407): Dude remember Danielle the girl I dated but she was cheating on me the whole time?... She's fucking pregnant and there are 5 different people who could be the dad. It's like an episode of Maury. Best day ever!!!

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(407): Getting my dad pissy drunk before hapPy hour is over is excellent use of my time.... It's his birthday anyways mom oh n he peed himself.. Can u pick him up?

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(407): Text message goes here...Fucked up with mdt!!!!!!

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Remember The Pics From Last Night?

Best Friends :)
Awesomeness!