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(313):
the sex was so good, i had already cum twice that night off the head alone. when he was about to put it in he tied me up which was new for me but felt really good. b4 he came he ripped the condom off and said i would have his baby.
(843):
She told me that she had a yeast infection in the morin... explains the sourdough biscuit on my cock
(347):
Leave Me Alone (573): At least least me cry on your voice mail
(937):
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
(717):
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
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(361):
I woke up on the floor under a blanket next to a guy with a mustache, gotee, and thick spanish accent while he was kissing me and repeating my name. I hit a joint in the next room and got the hell out of there
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(0)
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(361)
(361):
dont ever have sex in a haunted house. especially if the ghost is an old lady. and your fucking on her living room couch. lol creepy old bitch was watching
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10
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(361)
(361):
so apparently I did three things that st. patricks night. ran screaming drunk through that apt complex, went right into someones apt, and got taised before being hauled off to jail. Had no idea I did any of it in the morning when I woke up handcuffed and strapped into that chair of horrors outside of the holding cell.
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(361)
(361):
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
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(361)
(361):
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
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167
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(361)
(361):
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
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114
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15
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(1)
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(361)
(361):
I'm wasted at the falls thinking bout your pussy
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12
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2
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(0)
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(361)
(361):
I will fuck you and your sister
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13
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0
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(0)
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(361)
(361):
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
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114
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34
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(5)
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(361)
(361):
I just want to send drunk innapropriate pictures of myself.. is that such a bad thing?! (1-361): Where have you been all my life?
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(361)
(361):
So I just went to the bathroom....and the chick next to me, I could smell Parmesan cheese... Think she has Parmesan cheese in her pocket?
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(361)
(361):
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
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102
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9
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(361)
(361):
And im guessing a glory hole wont work if the chick on the other side is roofied into oblivion (rcvd 814) sadly, there are kinks in this plan
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1
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(361)
(361):
plz come find me im in a bush and im scared
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19
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8
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(361)
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