(307): I just tried to call your cat on my cell phone... I got really sad when I realized he wasn't in my contacts.

Great Night (96) Bad Night (6) Comment (0) More texts from (307)

(307): dude so she just actually asked me if it was possible to get a mushroom stamp imprint on her forehead and then she grabbed my dick and started slapping herself with it

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(307): If I had my guitar right now I'd be singing her a song to strip to, it would be a ballad of broccoli.

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(307): You were just peeing in the drive way next to the trash can singing "I make it rain, I make it rain..."

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(307): so after i left her house i realised that the tiny soft blue blanket that we were fucking on (and i came on) was her sons... 1(307):how could you not tell that was a kids blanket? (307): didnt turn on the lights till i couldnt find my pants and left

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(307): I cant just pee in the woods! Bears pee in the woods... and boys!

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(307): first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.

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(307): dude my keybourd feels amazing

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(307): Thing is.. i left my morals at home.

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(307): IT'S NOT CAPS-LOCK. IT'S BILLY MAYES MODE.

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(307): Well he is an english major. So i am kinda looking forward to seeing how many adjectives he uses in his sexts.

Great Night (18) Bad Night (0) Comment (0) More texts from (307)

(307): Oh don't feel too bad, I told him straight up his jizz tastes like what period blood smells like. It wasn't the size that made me gag.... someone needs to check him for a mangina.

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(307): He just kicked my ass at beer pong... such a turn on! I got a feeling this is going to get hotter than two mole rats makin' love in a wool sock in July.

Great Night (14) Bad Night (0) Comment (0) More texts from (307)

(307): Sent: I'll hog tie him to the bed and ride him for a good 8 seconds! Rec: Oh hell yes... then do another 8 seconds in memory of Lane Frost.

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