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(912):
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
(785):
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
(251):
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
(845):
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
(360):
I decided to shave my pubic hair in the shape of a heart. After my little striptease, he gasped in admiration "Aaaw, Batman sign!"
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(301):
Bedstime for penis?
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(301)
(301):
Bro, I was having sex with Melanie last night and right as I was about to pull out she wrapped her legs around me and said "BE MY BABY DADDY!!!"
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(301)
(301):
I ended up having paranoiafrom so much fucking weed and sleeping in my car,driving in a ditch,prom nigh ahh and I didn't even get any.
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(301)
(301):
(received) I don't no if it could have got any worse! (sent) well at least he didn't stop in the middle of it and drive you home =] (received) true I need to practice
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(301)
(301):
Just got caught at Marymount letting a load out in my gf ass what ever happened to knocking on the door lol
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(301)
(301):
Just got caught at Marymount letting a load Putin my gf ass what ever happened to knocking on the door lol
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(0)
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(301)
(301):
your gonna have to meet me at my car cuz im gonna unload enough periphinelia to convict mother theresa
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(301)
(301):
Just did anal with my girl at the ballston campus in the chapel Hells ya
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4
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(301)
(301):
Just did anal with my girl at the ballston campus in the chaText message goes here...
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(301)
(301):
Rec: What you doin? Sent: Twerkin where are you
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4
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(301)
(301):
dude people say use condoms for oral, word from the wise, NEVER USE CONDOMS FOR ORAL. its like having a lollipop with the wrapper still on. like its like putting one of those ziplock bags in your mouth.
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(301)
(301):
Dude get here now this chick has a lawn morrow tattoo n is drinking jag like its water. !!!
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(301)
(301):
Dude you were so high last night while everyone else was running from the cops you sat down infront of the cruiser to put your shoes on.
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134
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(301)
(301):
(123) dude cops are here we gotta dip (456) dude they have us surrounded. (123) WTF! What are we gonna do? What are you doing? (456) dude don't panic I'm upstairs smoking a blunt.
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