(270): Roses are red, nuts are round. Skirts are up. Panties are down. Belly to belly. Skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in!

Great Night (176) Bad Night (10) Comment (3) More texts from (270)

(270): Her pussy tastes like rainbows (1-270): And what do rainbows taste like? (270): Pussy...

Great Night (131) Bad Night (3) Comment (0) More texts from (270)

(270): I bet 10 bucks that after he gets done with her, he'll whip out a target button and say "that was easy".

Great Night (22) Bad Night (0) Comment (3) More texts from (270)

(270): I just kept doing keg stands with my legs crossed... Like a lady.

Great Night (18) Bad Night (0) Comment (0) More texts from (270)

(270): I was getting a blow job from this hot chick and she looks up and says "your silly band glows in the dark? That's awesome!" best night ever??!!

Great Night (16) Bad Night (1) Comment (0) More texts from (270)

(270): My brother randomly told me that unless he's wearing underwear, his jungle of pubic hair would get caught in his zipper. Thanks for the lovely visual.

Great Night (18) Bad Night (125) Comment (0) More texts from (270)

(270): Arabian sun goggles..it's where you put your balls in their eyes and shit in their face. yes, it's something new.

Great Night (11) Bad Night (125) Comment (2) More texts from (270)

(270): Can I wear this hat all the way to pancakes?

Great Night (18) Bad Night (0) Comment (0) More texts from (270)

(270): (rcvd)So.. you need to play a game with me (sent) and what would that be? (rcvd) its called beat the fetus.. i picked up plan B and a handle of tequila

Great Night (6) Bad Night (45) Comment (0) More texts from (270)

(270): He was aiming for my mouth but ended up pouring half his beer down my shirt.

Great Night (10) Bad Night (7) Comment (1) More texts from (270)

(270): I decided to not go to a strip club for the second Saturday in a row, because I didn't want to appear desperate in front of the strippers.

Great Night (53) Bad Night (31) Comment (0) More texts from (270)

(270): she just asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis.

Great Night (23) Bad Night (261) Comment (0) More texts from (270)

(270): I found out that my husband named our daughter after his favorite porn star.

Great Night (112) Bad Night (185) Comment (3) More texts from (270)

(270): laying on my couch feeling like shit, from last night!

Great Night (0) Bad Night (10) Comment (0) More texts from (270)

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