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(412):
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
(401):
dude Alex took a shit and clogged my toilet last night... i had no plunger so i bare handed it.
(586):
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
(775):
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk. (504): Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
(titdrunk):
Received: "I want a damn good shoot of boob, its my birthday". Sent: "You want cleavage or full nips?" MDT
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(270):
My walk of shame included me waking up in a frat house still drunk off my ass, my pants were MIA, my make-up was a mess, my hair was matted with vomit and I had a 2 mile walk home ahead of me. Thankfully after I got about half way two nice women stopped and asked me if I needed a ride home. Unfortunately, they stopped after I was passed by a bus full of small children
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(270)
(270):
I'm walk of shaming all over this bitch!
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10
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3
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(270)
(270):
WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU INSIDE ME?!?! I WANT NAMES NOW!!!!
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(0)
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(270)
(270):
69? (270): I can't count that high tho..
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(270)
(270):
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
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14
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(270)
(270):
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
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194
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28
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(270)
(270):
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
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(270)
(270):
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
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122
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(270)
(270):
EKU is the shit!!! ..don't tell mom.
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(270)
(270):
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
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(270)
(270):
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
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(270)
(270):
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
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110
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(270)
(270):
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
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(270)
(270):
where did all the taco shells go? 270(1) you threw them at the sheep next door, shouting, I BEEN A BAAAAAAAAD BOY.
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(270)
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