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(937):
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
(812):
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
(770):
should I fuck that poor girl (1-770): no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
(724):
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
(928):
I need an animal control officer. I'm being attacked by a cougar at BWW. (520): U texted the right guy! Remember they R more sacred of U than U R of them =)
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(269):
For real it was a tiny Asian girl Drawing my blood those are my two worst fears
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(269)
(269):
Yeah last night was fucked up but we gotta do it more often (269): Oh fer sure. But im not gonna pound captain with the foreign exchange student then smoke a shit load.
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(269)
(269):
(sent): last time I checked drinking at 8 am on a monday was perfectly legal. (Received): last time I checked drinking at 8 am on a monday naked in a bean bag chair was legal. (Sent): IM ON MY WAY (:
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(269)
(269):
Haha, I love running from the cops. Shit gives me a great adrenaline rush lol. It's like a sport!
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(269)
(269):
I really hate people who don't deserve their dicks. :(
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(269)
(269):
From tongue to tonsils, how much room did you have?
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(269)
(269):
Ps I might get a lube that numbs ur gag reflect. Re: Ps I love u. Re: Damn right Bitch
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(269)
(269):
sometimes i wish there was a fb relationship for fuck buddies. then you would know who was off limits and who wasnt.
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(269)
(269):
Look for the pillow case in the snow bank. There you will find the mirror you broke in the hotel room last night sweetie!
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(269)
(269):
Lmao! My mom was like wtf... When I asked "what are you wearing?!"
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(269)
(269):
I rang in the New Year without pants on.. Good sign?
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(269)
(269):
the last thing i remember was a black santa saying to me, bend over bitch im santa and you 3 are my ho ho ho.
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(269)
(269):
(269) OMG I LOVE CHRIS BROWN (616) hes a woman beater (269) Welllll.... he can beat me ;)
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(269)
(269):
(269) up da ass, hell nahh thats exit only!! (616) he asked you for BUTTSEX?!? (269) fuck yea, i told him if he wants buttsex go murder someone and get butt-raped in prison (616) shoulda sent him this way, imma get a tatto around there that said ENTRANCE ONLY. (269) WTF
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(269)
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