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(630):
i just woke up to my mom throwing my purse on top of me asking me why i dumped the contents of my entire purse all over the front lawn and than i opened my eyes and realized i was lying on my driveway i never made it into my house lastnight
(859):
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
(270):
Her pussy tastes like rainbows (1-270): And what do rainbows taste like? (270): Pussy...
(904):
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
(516):
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
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(260):
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Great Night
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78
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Bad Night
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4
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Comment
(2)
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(260)
(260):
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Great Night
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137
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Bad Night
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3
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(1)
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(260)
(260):
She gave me a handjob while we watched Lord of the Rings. A geek's dream come true!
Great Night
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9
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Bad Night
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4
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(2)
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(260)
(260):
She told me she was on her period, so i asked why she even came over. then i told her its ok cuz her mouth isnt on a period!
Great Night
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76
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106
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(6)
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(260)
(260):
i want a picture of you right meow .
Great Night
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9
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0
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(0)
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(260)
(260):
come to my room . take your clothes off and take my breth away
Great Night
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18
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0
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(1)
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(260)
(260):
no dude pissing in the crock pot was a great idea the only reason we got kicked out was cuz it smelled when you turned it on.
Great Night
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1
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16
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(1)
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(260)
(260):
I'm in church. Just burped it smelled like straight up vodka. I feel like i need to go to confession.
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16
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4
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(0)
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(260)
(260):
Are you bleeding yet? (317): No. Maybe I'm pregnant. (260): Well, I'm gonna fuck you like i hate you later and get you bleeding one way or another.
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15
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9
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(0)
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(260)
(260):
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Great Night
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23
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113
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(6)
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(260)
(260):
A+ night. just had the best sex ever and now she's sitting on top of me feeding me ice cream :)
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42
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0
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(7)
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(260)
(260):
When I return - you me bed (260) thats a big ten four!
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14
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0
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(0)
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(260)
(260):
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
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317
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9
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(6)
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(260)
(260):
seeing the video of me swimming in the pool acting like a aligator said that one more shot is always a bad idea
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11
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1
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(1)
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(260)
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