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(508):
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
(314):
Received last night: "rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. I'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?' MDT
(862):
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
(513):
I tried to pay for the hotel room at the front desk...apparently we were in the dorm...
(913):
I don't do cocaine, I just enjoy the smell of it.
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(2340):
I ripped my forskin... she thought i ripped her... i went along with it.
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(2340):
it was like throwing a sausage down a soggy hallway :/
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(2340):
she was 2 peices of bread short of a tuna sandwich
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(2340):
(2340): Hm there is soap in my shower and its banana smelling.. But it tastes like normal soap.. I don't get it?(1-2340) is that a mydrunktexts.com quote?(2340) No... I just had a shower.
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(2340):
mate.... i hate you. can i hv a kidny ps i went that chick yu go oot with maaaaadst head everrrrr.
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