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(724):
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
(608):
(sent) What did i say to you last night? (608) you told me you were standing in a pink swimsuit and boots and wanted me to come over and take a shower with you and your friend. (sent) i wish i could say that was joking, but it was legit.
(727):
Dude just found a $20 stuck to my tit, who wants to go get breakfast?!
(443):
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
(716):
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
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(229):
(229): I wasn't that drunk. (229): You were shaking a pineapple and saying, "Spongebob, I know you're in there!"
Great Night
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26
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Bad Night
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1
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Comment
(3)
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(229)
(229):
Follow me to the G-spot!
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8
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1
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(0)
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(229)
(229):
Dude I think my fingers are magic! (1-863): Why? (229): I touched my dick and it got up. I made it go up and down for an hour! (1-863): I think your sisters fingers are magic too....
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150
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Bad Night
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9
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(0)
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(229)
(229):
I'll give you your drink when you put the light saber up
Great Night
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14
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0
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(0)
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(229)
(229):
He told me to throw up in the trash can he put by my bed. I hit everywhere but the trash can...
Great Night
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1
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11
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(0)
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(229)
(229):
Anybody can come too girls guys whatever. But no turtles. Fuck amphibians.
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120
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Bad Night
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4
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(6)
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(229)
(229):
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
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170
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6
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(7)
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(229)
(229):
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Great Night
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102
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6
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(0)
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(229)
(229):
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Great Night
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75
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1
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(0)
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(229)
(229):
There goes that girl Tara, screaming and throwing her head around.... Again.
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7
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0
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(2)
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(229)
(229):
you can put on make up but you just can't hide crazy
Great Night
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12
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Bad Night
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3
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Comment
(1)
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(229)
(229):
im home anx ouyt of beer do yoy know how sad that is....its so sad
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9
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6
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(0)
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(229)
(229):
I want to walk through the house serenading people! I want to play the guitarrrrrr!!!! (229)- well baby I want to bang on your drums but we can't all get our way!
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14
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2
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(0)
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(229)
(229):
Ha I'm playin life!!! OH SHIT I had a baby!!
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12
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0
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(0)
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(229)
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