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(262):
I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and when I was done I went to zip up when I realized I never unzipped.
(845):
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
(847):
(sent): She was so tight. I thought I was in the wrong hole for the first minute cuz I couldnt get it in. (rec'd): So what u do? (sent): Came in 30 seconds.
(412):
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
(718):
He told me to take off my pants then he went to finger me & said " eww,your so wet !" & wiped it on me.
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(210):
(601) how did i get your vagina excited :)? (601-1) you said i will get you wet so my vagina was like yay! pick me
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(210)
(210):
My face is numb but the sky is still grey.that means I'm drunk but the sky is still brown..I mean blue! Wait..shit! Fuck. You smell good.bye..
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(210)
(210):
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
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(3)
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(210)
(210):
Sneak out (1-210): The person u have reached is currently asleep right now. Try again at a more reasonable time.
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(210)
(210):
Haha mistakes of the night have not occurred yet, but I'm ready for them ;)
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(210)
(210):
I'm eating a taco while taking a shit and getting head. Which one should I stop?
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(210)
(210):
Rebecca black can suck a nut,cause Saturday is where it's at!!
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(210)
(210):
I'll be home soon! Go get everything clean but that mind of your's
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(0)
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(210)
(210):
Ok. Your cock, my mouth. Now!
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12
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(210)
(210):
You come home NOW so I can suck that marvelous cock of yours!!!
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(210)
(210):
True dat homie G. Shit can get pricey... but i gotta have booze, bud, big booty,bj and breast!! Ha ha!! I'll sacrifice food for all thee above!!
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(210)
(210):
Have you ever felt more in tune with your cat when you're high? (1-210): Every day.. It's way easier to communicate with them.
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(210)
(210):
Just realized airports are a bitch to navigate when you're not sober.
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(210)
(210):
you can't pee on everything you're mad at
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