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(209):
hector just spewed all over your couch..(925) yeah...hes a bitch.
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(209)
(209):
Sent: She was on top waving her arms, when I asked her what the hell she was doing she said dick bending Reply: Ok bro, no more taking your dates to M Night Shayamalan movies
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(209)
(209):
sent:: ... I'm high so i'll believe just about anything right now... rec:: JESUS CAME BACK WITH ALIENS AND THEY WANT ALL THE TWINKIES OF THE WORLD! sent:: Not THAT high, thank you very much.
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(209)
(209):
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
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(209)
(209):
Dude, just ate this girl out while she was on the phone with her boyfriend! (Rcvd): Who's the girl? (Sent): Ashley Petersen! (Rcvd): So she wasn't finger fucking herself while on the phone with me... I'm going to kill you (Sent): I think this calls for a lawlz
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(209)
(209):
Why is there a burrito in my mailbox? (1-209): Idk (209): ... Should I eat it?
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(209)
(209):
Dust got away with drunk driving. Im good. good i say!
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(209)
(209):
Beer spilled in my cut. Its feels santitized
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(209)
(209):
i asked him if your canadian does that mean your from canadia? why dont i think first! (1-209) Cause your a dumbass slut who uses her pussy more then her brain
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(209)
(209):
so you were so drunk when you left that you didn't take your shoes, and you told david to get the fuck out of your car because you weren't "confident in your driving abilities". (1-209) I don't remember leaving... i also don't remember why i parked at that apartment complex&&pissed in their tree. but i just came outside&&said "dude where's my car?!" so i guess the cops bringing me home this morning wasn't a dream...btw, what happen to david?? (209) he tried to walk home... in the wrong direction and tripped into a cop car. (1-209) WIN!!! :D
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(209)
(209):
just ate some jarred peaches at 3 in the afternoon and all I could think was "this would be fucking BOMB if I had some vodka" (1-209) I'm so proud!
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(209)
(209):
I knew it was bad when my high heel was bigger than his dick.
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(209)
(209):
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
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(209)
(209):
Some 8th graders won't stop texting me. I even called them the Lollipop Guild and asked if it was passed there bed times. They don't understand..
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