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(708):
I need a hookup tonight. My vag is flawlessly shaved and i feel like a fucking porn star.
(203):
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think. (518): I am in love with you.
(410):
i think i came on some fat chick at brians last night, she was in the bed while i was fucking amy!!! she was sleeping!! (410): OMG THAT WAS YOU?! (410): dude, i swear to god we did not see her in there?! (410): hmm one, you should stop drinking two, THAT WAS BRIANS MOM DUDE!!! (410): win?
(720):
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
(510):
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
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