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(973):
I vaguely remember that henna tattooist. Great idea having him there. Pirate Hooker across my chest....I crack my shit up. I must be having an allergic reaction to the henna...its all red and swolen and stings like a bitch.(1-973)dude that wasnt henna!!
(860):
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
(678):
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
(315):
I took off my clothes at a party last night and jumped from couch to couch. Everyone was like wtf?! but I had the time of my life.
(646):
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
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(616):
(231) i taught my brother what 69 was tonight. and a rim job. (616) WHAT?! (231) hahaha. yep. and yes, he's 10
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(616):
You are like a flood in my panties. Justin Beiber.. like a desert.
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(269):
banging chick in hot tub, I'm making her call me phil a o'fish. When I take my dick out of her mouth she'll say gimme back that filet o fish! GIVE ME THAT FISH!
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(574):
your tan anyway... RE- Not right now! i think my puerto rican is wearing off
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(574)
(574):
im too much of a nice guy to do that.. RE- yea you are, wine dine then naked... of course, its my nice way to pay for sex
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(574)
(574):
i just found out my girlfriend fucked my bestfriend.. thats shitty man.. not as shitty as me fucking her mom.. wow thats all im saying
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(574)
(574):
im shooting the next white kid saying nigga like katt williams
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(574)
(269):
" I just realized you peed out of my window from douglass crossings all the way to my house and once we got to my house you still were peeing. You peed for 15 minutes. 15 MINUTES. Teach me your ways great one."
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(616):
kad get the fuck here,! man is in hor no end to borg it. i ju8st want to sget in batub. plaes come nbring me codoms and skittle.
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