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(614):
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
(425):
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
(702):
Exactly I'm not a drunk mess...I hope I forget tonight.
(856):
my mom just started video taping me and i asked what she was doing and she was like "this is so in the morning when you don't remember this, i can give you a reason why you're grounded."
(316):
I received this text night before last. "i just took a shit in a soda can. Looking forward to seeing you tonight. :)" MDT
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(253):
I'm going to grow out my nose hairs so I can chew on them when I'm hungry.
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(253)
(253):
sent dude iam the corona king i got a bunches of corona making a fort out them come be my royal court jester replied your a fag
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(425):
A naked man is throwing rocks at my window while singing "Fill me up buttercup" I don't know if I should call security or buy him a drink.
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4
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(253):
DUUUUDEEE!!! Is it a sign from God that my desk smells like pussy?
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