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(+44):
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown. (+44): before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
(905):
Yesterday I texted my boyfriend, telling him I gave 3 guys blowjobs, and fucked one in a field. I got more action last night then I had with my boyfriend of 2 months.
(480):
...she musta thought it'd be sexy to finger her ass herself. She ended up shitting in her own hand. I woke up to a text from her saying "we cool?". Im changing my number.
(304):
Just relized my silly bandz matched my underwear
(913):
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
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