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(304):
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
(214):
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
(905):
She asked me to titty fuck her last night...(recv'd) niiice did you? (sent) have you seen emmas chest? she is a AAA cup. my 3 year old sister has a bigger rack
(209):
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
(803):
She krazy glued my pee hole shut so I wouldn't cheat on her
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