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(480):
I need to join a 12-step program for people who get drunk and hook up with fat, ugly chicks.
(301):
so the cops busted the party? (sent): yeah but after they saw 150 empty beer cans, a beer pong table, and 5 drunk girls... they left. (rec'd): Nobody got in trouble? (Sent): Not after Amber tongued Alicia.
(724):
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
(508):
I have just awoken in a tree outside my dorm and noticed I am missing my pants. (217) What do you mean in a tree? (508) Think about it this way, you live on the third floor and I am staring straight at you. now do you know where my pants are or not?
(Clarissa):
Mother Fuckers goin' down bitch! parteh hasn't started yet cant feel ma face. New fucking record. its like botox but cheaper. DAMN use booze not needles.
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