(210): i was walking around a cop stopped me and asked have you seen an old lady walking around either i was imagining it or i let free the nursing home people

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(417): My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.

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(214): Hey remember last night when you were standing by the road with your pants at your ankles pissing towards the road? then started appologizing cause you thought i saw your dick. (214) shhhhh

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(214): Hey remember last night when you were standing by the road with your pants at your ankles pissing towards the road? then starded appologizing cause you thought i saw your dick. (214) shhhhh

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(940): We were laying in bed and she tells me to move over cause she's a girl and likes to spread her legs.

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(469): You text me from your phone asking me to call your phone because you couldn't find it anywhere. Ya, I'd say you were wasted.

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Remember The Pics From Last Night?

Best Friends :)
Awesomeness!