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(708):
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
(217):
Hope your night ended better than mine. I just had to use flavored nipple gel as chapstick
(813):
where are you? (1-813) hold on let me finish up i have my girl stripping on cam (813) oh... take your time then.
(908):
you don't throw cats at me... (reply): I'm not with you what the hell are you talking about?... (reply): Fuck you, you threw a cat at me!
(401):
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
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(505):
Get head and tail like a quarter
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(505)
(505):
No, I'm only gay when I go to the gay bar. I swear it is like all the glitter and lady gaga lesmerizes me.
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30
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(575):
i was so drunk last night that i kept calling my relationship a relationshit
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23
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1
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(2)
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(575)
(505):
Used those cups u use to rinse ur mouth after brushing as shot glasses....will never look at snack time with my 5 yr olds the same again...bonus:found a drink mixer for my wedding!
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6
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2
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(505)
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