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(218):
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
(619):
From now on im wearing shoes when we have sex .i have rug burn on my feet! ... i dont think i can wear heals to the wedding.
(317 ):
So I am out on the dance floor with this bitch and we are basically fucking through her skirt when her sister says "hey she is getting married." My response, "Well I'll giver her a reason for divorce."
(902):
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?! (1-902): I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
(317):
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
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(201):
[sent] how old is too old? [rcvd] 30.. [sent] perfect. [rcvd] i don't want to know..
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(201)
(508):
After the sex I leaned ova to kiss him and dropped my forehead on his cum ...
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(508)
(781):
Oh man , oh i didnt tell you ? Even when your wearing pants i pretend i have x-ray vision and fuck around in my head & imagine you in all sorts of things. (: LMAO .
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(401):
i was so high that i admitted to my mom that i put vision in my eyes so i wouldn't look high when i came home. she didn't ground me, life's good.
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(617):
i have somthin very inportant to tell u........ im in the bed of a pickup covered in my own vomit on my way to the hospital (857) so your drunk again?
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(617)
(978):
Sometimes I have to make sure I'm actually on the toilet so I don't just pee/poo onthe floor
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