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(810):
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
(502):
just woke up to my mum shattering my bong across the left side of my face. she better get me a new one for christmas...
(775):
I told you I ate out your girlfriend last night and you said "How did my dxck taste"
(413):
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
(919):
i sent my bf a pic of my boobs last night....he didnt txt back for 3 hours. and when he did he said sorry i was busy....win??
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(281):
if your sister ask i was at your house earlier. to drunk to explain. P.s. she still wont send me a naked picture, bitch.
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(281):
if your sister ask i was at your house earlier. to drunk to explain. P.s. she still wont send me a naked picture, bitch. 281. where are u at
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(504):
Yo
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(281):
Dude I feel so loose right now oh and its raining sprite and vodka.
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