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(845):
duude. just got pulled over. cop told me he could clearly see the smoke pouring out my windows and that i smelt like "reefer". said it looked like a chimney and told me to roll my windows up. then drove off. total win.
(832):
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
(304):
Just got kicked out of a limo because I tried to ride shotgun.
(847):
Apparently metal bar stools can be easily mistaken for people when you're punching them.
(207):
i just woke up snuggling 15 lollipops.
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(510):
I've been sitting on my couch feeling on my boobs, nipples and all for an hour. Constantly talking to them. I think im a little too high, if thats possible.
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