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(410):
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
(860):
His naked dick was literally a 16th of an inch away from my naked vag before I told him there was a dragon standing right behind us. I'm seriously hanging on to my virginity by a thread at this point.
(301):
you know your day is made of fail when you have a Hanson song stuck in your head all day.....
(312):
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
(334):
So I got a cheap wedding band and came up with my "my wife was killed by a DUI" story. Point is: got 15 phone numbers and amazing head at the bar last night. Being "married" is the best thing to happen to my game. Ever.
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(250):
then she handed me an avatar themed condom & was like "i see you" (250:) duuuude. (250:) ikr, worship me.
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It's like the radio knows when I'm going to get laid. Whenever I'm in the shower shaving my legs "I Gotta Feelin" comes on.
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(250):
From my little brother: (250)I feel dick! (+250) What? do you mean sick? (250) MOMS TRYING TO SUFFOCAT ME WITH A TOWL!!
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(420):
We got zombie high in a big blue slide at the rotery kids park, doubled on a bike over to another friends house, smoked a joint and took bong hoots for an hour straight, when i finally made it home my grandma had prepared me a suprise stake dinner, SCORE :)
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