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(647):
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
(805):
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
(318):
You know you had a successful break when you open your backpack for school and all you have in it is a fifth of everclear.
(267):
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
(832):
my long-distance boyfriend told me that he was going to pee on me to "mark his territory." When I told him that it was disgusting, he said, "last time, I just peed on you in the shower."
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(714):
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
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(330):
Hmm.. Maybe i should make a resume of my sex life and get referrals of girls who loved it, then when i meet a girl i will just give her the resume.
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(330)
(330):
Rec: I want to have sex with a condom one time to know what it feels like. That and I've never gotten to put one on before. Sent: I'm ok with this. Let's do work.
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