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(253):
i'm pretty sure he had herpes... but that didn't stop me. :/
(203):
i just stepped in cum. i hate you. (603): Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
(949):
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
(716):
(sent): Wanna come to the party? :) (recvd): What's with the smiley? (sent): Bitch don't question my happiness.
(919):
you wanted to test out your new boob job so we were speeding to get to the bar when we were pulled over by a cop, he saw you had a bottle of jack daniels in your hand, looked at your boobs and told us to be careful. you. are. my. hero.
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(613):
Yeah man, you just came in from taking some more bong hits and you were begging me not to tell my lawer dad that you smoked so much. Then I told you I got accepted to law school, your face went blank and you ran away.
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