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(310):
EXCUSE ME tell your boobs to stop staring at me
(310):
he told me he could read peoples minds, & everytime i walked outside he would scream "she wants my dick!" by the end of the night, we fucked 4 times. i guess he really can.
(904):
Damn bitch you took 8 shots of goldschlager 4 of captain and 6 of skyy and played 10 rounds of flip cup and won every time how the fuck are you not dead right now?
(978):
i was walking back this morning and walked by the school president. he just looks at me and says "please tell me you're not doing the walk of shame"... i was.
(412):
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
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(214):
where you be? my vodka and i need to have a meeting with you!
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(214)
(214):
i wish i was an expert pooper like you, it's record speed.
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(214)
(281):
So after you decided you were done taking naked pictures, you climbed off the counter, put your bra and panties back on and threw on a cardigan because it was "classy".
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(713):
"Dude, i just had chachos for the first time. I feel like i gave the grim reaper head. call me when you get to heaven, maybe we can do lunch or something."
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(450):
Just figured out how to make the night shift better. Shot of vodka and hot damn before I clock in.
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