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(405):
So the dentist told me I'd gag on the x ray thing when she put it in my mouth. When I didn't she said, "oh, I forgot you're in college now"...all i could think was, I could do that in high school too
(561):
I came out of the shower and started to shake my ass and made my dick go in circles like a booby tassle
(919):
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
(304):
Just relized my silly bandz matched my underwear
(509):
I think im pregnant... (1-509): so? (509): What do you mean so? You fuckin asshole! (1-509): i dont even know you wtf are you textin me for (509): oh...wrong number sorry (1-509): well if you're not pregnant...you should hit me back up ;)
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(510):
Dude, I just got a lap dance that ended up with me getting my face shat on.. then she asked if i would sell her shit on eBay? WTF DID I DRINK!
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