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(850):
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
(322):
is it bad that i think my mums hot?
(320):
Received last night: "I think I just shit a whole marshmallow. or my shit is really fluffy. Either way that's not good right?"
(540):
All I remember is you saying 'I'm goin down, captain!' before you sucked my dick
(+44):
ok when i first hooked up with her i went down on her and i ripped the bit of flesh that connects your tongue to the bottom of your mouth now i can stick my tongue out twice as far as i could before. kwyjibo!
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(541):
Okay so went to osu, got really faded made friends with EVERYONE! Woke up with 37 tallies on my arm. Won 3 games of beerpong and watched jiggles fall all over the house! She got kicked out 5 different times. I basically got stalked by this kid from westview named tyler. He kept asking me to dance nd wouldn't take a no. I then busted out the dance room to the front yard while he's still asking me I start rapin eminem oh baby I don't dance not cuz I can't but cuz I got a pistol in my pants. After I did that everyone started to clap and a few guys came up to me an offered me shots. Which I took! Reb fondeled about 7 different guys and the one she came there with ended up sleepin in my bed! She got jealous and freaked out and I owe her 20 bucks which I will not pay her due to embarrasment of claiming her as my friend at the party oh yah she ate shit and then passed out in a bush! Swear to god all this happened woke up laughing my ass off remembering everything! Awh! I love being a cute girl so many things work out for me :)
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(503):
Haah ok so apparently I got so drunk I told the guy she liked about her having a boyfriend and how she got hpv. He respected my honesty lol
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(503):
I totally just saw a nun in the back of the church, in a pew hitting off a bong. I was so developed into her smoking that when they passed the bowl for change, I put my hand in and grabbed some.
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