MDTxts
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(Dave):
I was at a party. I ran around with a ferret, threw water on someone and got punched in the face and was bleeding. Thats what happens when the magic lose. - MDT
(217):
Where the hell is my earlobe?
(women points):
Last night "cnaz u trhaot fuk m3?" sent out to about umm 34 dudes one of them my dad. MDT
(407):
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
(901):
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
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(916):
I don't know what to do! He's my boy but his exgirlfriend is fucking hot!!! (1-916): Dude, you don't go and mow your neighbors lawn (916): No. You don't. But if he's out of town and the lawn is starting to look a little trashy why wouldn't you go clean it up?
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(815):
Is it cheating if i say it was rape...?
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(815):
We met a drunk hindu guy in the middle of the hallway carrying a 30 case and named him HINDU KUSH! We invited him to our party. After he bought the whole party vodka we all ended up chanting 'GO HINDU, GO HINDU, GO HINDU!' while he got a lapdance from a black chick... i love our life..
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(302):
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
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(402):
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
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(630):
her: hey sexy i miss you! him: i miss yourre saixxx her: haha what? i want to see you sooon! him: i want to sex you connect her: skype nowM! him: baby i be in at niu i got neio compatriot you need fly aurora MEOW
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