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(918):
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
(720):
(rec) dont panic! (sent) OH FUCK WHAT HAPPENED (rec) ok u should have not i repeat should not have trusted me with your house keys while u where in hawaii this situation is critical right now BRB (sent) WhT (rec) 2 words lawn-gnome invasion
(415):
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
(708):
You should've came last night. I know I did, multiple times actually. (1-708): Yeah but I ... Wow I just got that play on words you perverted bastard
(412):
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
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(720):
BOMB SQUAD NIGGAS REPRESENT. WE RUN COLORADO. WHO WANT IT? AYYYYYYY BOMB OUT
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(570):
so, i was sucking her cunt...and i feel this string in my mouth....so i spit it out...and she moaned. Win..Fail?
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(905):
(s) i just edited a facebook message i wrote on a friends wall...i have spent to much time on school. i need a drink, stat! (r) im on it, running down the hall with a bud light in hand!
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