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My Drunk Texts From Last Night - MDT

  • (337): are you awake? im in the park barefoot wearing a sombrero and giant t-shirt carrying a sign that says employee parking.

  • (480): Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.

  • (503): So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.

  • (267): Dude, having sex with a pregnant chick is like the perfect business plan. No risk, all reward.

  • (614): she said she'd buy me chipotle if i let her blow me... im not sure which is better. the blowjob or the burrito... or the fact that they are going to be there at the same time.

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(804): hey man this is oober important I need some advice my man. how early is too early to slip a finger in the butt of a new girl i am dating. if the position is doggy and i slip the catchers mitt in the but (thumb in butt literally like a catchers mitt) would the first fuck be too early?

Great Night (11) Bad Night (17) Comment (0) More texts from (804)
  • 1

Remember The Pics From Last Night?

  • Yes I will have this!
    Pic from (843)
  • The octagon!!!
    Pic from (702)
  •  Coming over?
    Pic from (207)
  •  do u like yellow
    Pic from (509)
  • Who doesn't love strippers
    Pic from (859)
  • Getting Wild
    Pic from (421)
  • See them cigs
(254): Foggier
    Pic from (254)
  • Happy Birthday!
    Pic from (918)
  • damn
    Pic from (877)
  • Only in Texas
    Pic from (972)
  • Oh shit sorry amb :)
    Pic from (609)
  • I'm thinking a four some
    Pic from (386)
  • Sittin sideways
    Pic from (713)
  • done and done
    Pic from (614)
  • Haha she couldn't wait
    Pic from (615)
  • These girls know how to party!
(1-317): I'm getting sick of you leaving me out....
    Pic from (317)
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