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(604):
Did you have enough for the taxi? I payed the remaining $2 in gum Are you serious? Yea, he totally accepted it
(4215):
I fucked a bowl of cheerios on a dare. I came harder than i ever have.
(214):
We got in a hot tub with smirnoff, i...pole danced and then ran around with no shirt on and now I'm changing my facebook gender back to female and removing PENIS PENIS PENIS from my favorite pages.
(828):
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
(203):
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think. (518): I am in love with you.
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(631):
my name is jim, and last night i lost my virginity to my mother...score?
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(780):
So... she thought she could bend a hard penis the same way she could bend a soft one...ya...
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(616):
When you can relate all of your bathroom soaps and perfumes to different kinds and flavors of vodka, you know you go to college.
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