(912): Hey bro my girlfriend just asked what im getting her for mothers day.......so im pretty sure she's pregnant......what should i get her?

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(912): i mean you flashed the bar and i told you i didnt like that. then you personally flashed people in the back of the bar for free drinks. then you showed your ass on the bar for shots. then you fucked someone.

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(478): we almost got shot by some niglets..help!

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(706): Ha funny. My mouth and his dick just weren't meant to be.

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(402): so i was at the pond the other day and i saw a group of guys riding by in a jeep hanging out the windows and roof with row boat paddles singing "just around the riverben-pokehontis)

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(706): Is it ironic i lost my virginity on my dad's 69th birthday?

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Remember The Pics From Last Night?

Best Friends :)
Awesomeness!