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(914):
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
(707):
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
(901):
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
(918):
I think I'm a daddy
(352):
i've only gotten laid twice this year!!!! (R): we are only 8 hours into this year.....
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(305):
trying to fall asleep is hard when your drunk, its even harder when your grandmas staying with you in the same room and her farts are making what sounds like a symphony..
Great Night
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4
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Bad Night
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20
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(0)
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(305)
(540):
i don't think he was turned on when you asked if you could take a miniscule sample of his penis.
Great Night
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2
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Bad Night
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10
)
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(0)
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(540)
(781):
i love you
Great Night
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6
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Bad Night
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32
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(0)
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(781)
(781):
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrato
Great Night
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279
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Bad Night
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14
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Comment
(2)
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(781)
(310):
Maybe I'll just fertilize his crops so he won't get that mad.
Great Night
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12
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Bad Night
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1
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(0)
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(310)
(813):
(813): a homeless man just talked to us for 10 minutes in the parking lot about going to iraq and having 10 daughters and ended the conversation by saying he doesnt want my money cause he is scared of me cause of the way i look.. whats wrong with me
Great Night
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12
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Bad Night
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24
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Comment
(1)
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(813)
(850):
sent- you no one of those girls who has to wear make up too look good? recived- yah bud sent - yah.. she was one of those. pratically a man.
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13
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Bad Night
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6
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(2)
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(850)
(904):
i just saw 2 elephants on my way to class.. that was some good shit (561): elephants? like fat chicks? (904): no like the animal but i think they were hot
Great Night
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28
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0
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(0)
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(904)
(813):
I got the xactlys WTF My mouth tastes exactly like shit!!
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2
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Bad Night
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12
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(0)
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(813)
(850):
:) Don't reply to this
Great Night
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15
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Bad Night
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2
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(0)
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(850)
(513):
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Great Night
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405
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Bad Night
(
11
)
Comment
(5)
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(513)
1
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