(336): I ju

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(980): I knew i shouldnt have stuck that in the vacum

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(280): Why doesnt Obama Tax asprin? Its White and works.... :)

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(280): With each shot, she gets skinner.

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(290): Your Tribal tattoo says gay in so many different languages.....

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(280): Her mustache hurt my balls!

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(336): Was drinking a beer and heard my mom came in and chugged the whole thing down within 5 seconds. New record?

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(336): hey can you come pick me up? i know its 6am but i crashed at this guys house and hes outside in his boxers right now yelling "wanna come fondle me?" to the little kids waking to the bus stop..

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(336): It's like he knows that mydrunktexts turn me on so he sends them to me whenever he wants it. i'm proud that i'm fucking someone so smart.

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(252): S: "Where you at kid" R:"levels im sooooooooooo sone fucked uo drunk smashed retartyed abything ever in use grounda f irag they homos no homoh holaaaaa S: "Oh cool. Glad that made sense" R: "Like petta bread"

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(252): You completely ruined me, the probability of finding someone to fuck me like you do is so low. I have nothing else to look forward to in life.

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(252): Pretty sure I motorboated you at formal last night...

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(905): He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.

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(420): My area is 420;) happy pot day.

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Remember The Pics From Last Night?

Best Friends :)
Awesomeness!