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(910):
Here's how I know my life is drastically different. I just caught myself saying "I'm gonna be pissed if I get laid tonight and have to rewash these sheets tomorrow."
(202):
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
(508):
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
(570):
i've got good news and bad news..good news: i finally hooked up with that hot chick. bad news: she puked all over your floor and didn't give me time to take out my copenhagen so i just kept spitting on the sheets. thanks for letting me use your room, i gotta head back home.
(651):
he asked me if I would join him in prayer before we had sex
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(336):
I ju
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(336)
(980):
I knew i shouldnt have stuck that in the vacum
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(280):
Why doesnt Obama Tax asprin? Its White and works.... :)
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(280)
(280):
With each shot, she gets skinner.
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(280)
(290):
Your Tribal tattoo says gay in so many different languages.....
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(290)
(280):
Her mustache hurt my balls!
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(336):
Was drinking a beer and heard my mom came in and chugged the whole thing down within 5 seconds. New record?
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(336)
(336):
hey can you come pick me up? i know its 6am but i crashed at this guys house and hes outside in his boxers right now yelling "wanna come fondle me?" to the little kids waking to the bus stop..
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(336)
(336):
It's like he knows that mydrunktexts turn me on so he sends them to me whenever he wants it. i'm proud that i'm fucking someone so smart.
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(336)
(252):
S: "Where you at kid" R:"levels im sooooooooooo sone fucked uo drunk smashed retartyed abything ever in use grounda f irag they homos no homoh holaaaaa S: "Oh cool. Glad that made sense" R: "Like petta bread"
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(252)
(252):
You completely ruined me, the probability of finding someone to fuck me like you do is so low. I have nothing else to look forward to in life.
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(252)
(252):
Pretty sure I motorboated you at formal last night...
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(252)
(905):
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
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(905)
(420):
My area is 420;) happy pot day.
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(420)
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